Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried wiping their arse with an iPad.
For most of the 1990s, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were dubbed into German by the same actor
Interviewer: "So how long were you employed in your last job?"
Candidate: "I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills."
There's a new razor designed for dyslexics.
It's the best thing since sliced beard.
I told myself I should stop drinking…
But I’m not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself.
It's so cold and windy outside I've just seen a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
A baby’s laughter can be the most beautiful sound you will ever hear.
Unless it’s 3am.
And you’re home alone.
And you don’t have a baby.
If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.