They advertise it as a 58% discount.

Got a job on Friday to help a friend replace dodgy phone cabling in his house. He can’t connect to the new broadband in the area because an existing telephone extension cable is breaking down. I used to work in telecoms & still have a cabling licence.

A few months ago I'd considered an Unlimited 12 month TunnelBear VPN covering 5 devices at a monthly cost of US$4.99 paid in one lump of $59.88.
Instead I have chosen to pay $49.88 for the same package under the latest deal.

Fewer words = more grunting?

//

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play at that game.

Teacher: Jimmy you’ve spent the whole lesson drawing a pair of stoats!

Jimmy: Sorry Miss, I’m two-weaselly distracted.

Tomorrow I’m going to open up the time capsule I made when I was a kid.

I can’t wait to see how big my puppy is now!

Good news for insomniacs!

Only 8 sleeps until Christmas!

I know a bloke who is mute, he communicates through embroidery.

Sew to speak.

I needed to find an article I'd placed in the Mac User Group's monthly magazine. Fortunately, dedicated members maintain both a database & an index. I found it on page 32 of the May 2017 issue.