The look on my son's face, when he opened his birthday present & saw it was flattened cardboard.
I said "You did say you wanted an ex-box?"
The Liverpool team visited an orphanage in Liverpool. "It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Bradley aged 6.
I saw a play where the cast were suspended by ropes above the surface of the stage. I must congratulate them on a floorless performance!
I bought a book on eBay called, 'How to scam idiots on eBay'…
That was 3 months ago, and it's still not arrived yet.
I saw Michael J Fox at a garden centre the other day. Recognised him straight away, he had his back to the fuchsias.
"Hello, it's Mike from Telstra headquarters," insisted a person with a very definite Indian/Sri Lankan accent.
"Telstra headquarters‽" I exclaimed. "Yes……" he tried to continue. "Wow!" says I. "I've never had a call from Telstra HQ! Not even when I worked for them for 31 fucking years! Fuck off!"
Then I hung up the phone.