How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England & head west.
For most of the 1990s, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were dubbed into German by the same actor
Interviewer: "So how long were you employed in your last job?"
Candidate: "I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills."
There's a new razor designed for dyslexics.
It's the best thing since sliced beard.
I told myself I should stop drinking…
But I’m not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself.
It's so cold and windy outside I've just seen a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
A baby’s laughter can be the most beautiful sound you will ever hear.
Unless it’s 3am.
And you’re home alone.
And you don’t have a baby.
If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
Dunno why I pay these bastards. My ISP is down, fortunately I have plenty of data available from my Lumia 1520's shared plan.