I get really annoyed by folk who've never owned or used an iOS jigger and claim they aren't meant for content creation. Fucken bolloks!

And that's too rapid a reduction in pain meds, a 25 or 33% reduction would have been more appropriate.

Dad never liked the local doctors. He said "If Mary Queen of Scots visited them with her severed head under her arm they'd treat her for a sore throat." Mum shares that sentiment. One of those bastards cut her pain medication by 50% today.

Staying at Mum's place overnight after visiting her in hospital, I left there at 7pm.

Just one issue with this alleged weather report. The sun is shining, it's not raining.

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Customer: "Does this Viagra stuff really work?"
Pharmacist: "Yes."
Customer: "Can you get it over the counter?"
Pharmacist: "Yes, if I take two of them."

My grandad always said "don't believe everything you hear."

It was great advice…

Or was it?

When I was learning to play golf in 1971, I played one round at the local course with an up-and-comer a few months my junior. He was an arrogant arse-wipe called David Smith. He hit the pro circuit as David Iwasaki-Smith & was in form in the 1990s. Now working in real estate, he's regarded as a prodigious talent but as sharp as a hatful of rusty hammer-heads.

I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery.

I've had it right up to here with them.