A man died today due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle.
Police believe he had serious selfie steam issues.
"Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life," my boss told me.
"It got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Chile in 2009."
"Really?"
"No."
Chinese takeaway -$19
Delivery charge - $5
Realising the idiots have forgotten one of your containers - Riceless.
@gtwilson Up until Feb 20, 1990, I had no qualms or concerns about climbing ladders. I had even ridden one down a factory wall when the feet slipped, resulting in bruised ribs.
But the Feb 20 date was also the last day I had a cigarette.
The safety belt that should have secured me to the power pole failed at the snap hook and I fell about five metres landing on a wooden fence post & bouncing off that & finally landing on a concrete footpath.
Sixteen days later I was allowed out of hospital on crutches having dislocated my right hip & fractured the left pelvis in three places.
Henceforth I developed a healthy respect for ladders & a fear of heights.
// @streakmachine @kdfrawg
@matigo Yeah. And in those days I didn't have the mobility problems I now experience.
I'd not be surprised if the feelings I've experienced recently are a return of depression that knocked me rotten 8 years ago.
@kdfrawg I know who Lowes is, they were in a failed partnership with the local Woolworths to establish a competing hardware chain with the big player here. It all went belly-up and a the stores closed down. Someone's being paid a fortune, I reckon, to keep the empty stores lit up & patrolled at night & gusarded in daylight.
Forty years ago my driving instructor would insist that I try to maintain the urban speed limit of 60 kph wherever possible. Learners aren't taught that now, I was stuck behind two of the shits today, going barely 32 kph in a 50 zone.
Trying to undo 40 years of incorrect driving behaviour. For example, it seems I would have better car control with less tiredness by holding the steering wheel at the east & west portions of the wheel, if one imagines it as being a compass.
Just about knackered with that short walk. From optometrist to bank to deposit a cheque then to the pharmacy for essential pills & creams was about 350 metres & another 300 back to the car. Knees & right hip protesting enormously.