Did you hear about the bloke that passed away after taking 100 Viagra tablets?

They couldn't close his coffin.

A German walks into a bar and orders a Martini.
The bartender asks, "Dry?"
The German responds, "Nein, just one."

I hate two types of people:

1) People who find a way of putting animals into words when they aren't actually there.

2) Hippocrites.

Just told my joke about Peter Pan again.

Never gets old.

I can see three years into the future.

I must have 2020 vision.

People think I'm weird because I swallowed an Abacus.

It's what's inside that counts.

Nope. But I’m using iOS 11

Or 07:20

I suspect your "weird Apple one" is actually a standard ExpressCard/34 slot, which replaced the ExpressCard/54.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ExpressCard

// @kdfrawg

@kdfrawg Addition of milk/sweetener to black tea is not adulteration but enhancement.

//