My annoying neighbour was banging on my door at 3 o’clock this morning!
Luckily I was still up practising my drums.
When I heard they had found a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.
What’s white, cold and unstable?
A bi-polar bear.
A big cat escaped it’s cage at the zoo yesterday.
If I saw that I’d puma pants.
What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?
Udder destruction.