The Israelis and Arabs finally realised that if they continued fighting,
they would someday end up destroying the world. So they sat down and decided
to settle the whole dispute with a dogfight. The negotiators agreed that
each side would take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could.
The dog that won the fight would earn its side the right to rule the
disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world.
They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest
Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each
litter, and fed them the best food. They used steroids and trainers in their
quest for the perfect killing machine. After the five years were up, they
had a dog that needed iron prison bars on its cage. Only the trainers could
handle this beast.
When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a strange
animal. It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the
Israelis. No one else thought this weird animal
stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The bookies
predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute.
The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the centre of the ring.
The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got
to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and
swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit
of fur from the killer dog's tail.
The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief. 'We do
not understand,' said their leader. 'Our top scientists and breeders worked
for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They
developed a killing machine.'
'Really?' the Israeli General replied. 'For five years, we've had a team of
Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills working to make an alligator look
like a Dachshund.