“I LOVE pies, and in 1940 I joined a monastery because I was told I could lead a very pious lifestyle. What a load of bollocks. I’ve spent almost seven decades with no trousers or socks, praising God and shit and pulling on a bastard rope to ring a fucking bell.
If that wasn’t arseache enough, they wake me up at four in the morning to chant and tend a fucking beehive. As for pies, there hasn’t been a sniff of one since the day I joined. All we eat is fucking porridge.”
Brother Dominic Anselm
Brinkburn Priory