I found the original on a friend’s Facebook page, clearly taken from an American spoof article and (poorly) modified to suit Australian times & conditions.
My friend is not the same grammar & spelling nazi that I am. I’ve been told my level borders on OCD.
Anyway, here it is:
FYI: If you’re planning on visiting Gippsland, we’re doing OK here right now with COVID cases. We watch in horror as the rest of the country spikes and wonder how long before it makes its way here.
So if you plan on vacationing at our rivers, lakes or on our waterfalls this winter, I think you should know that red ants and bedbugs have infested hotels, motels and cabins across the area due to an unusual Autumn.
Crocs have eaten all domesticated animals and some smaller people.
We have had rabid dingo sightings at every park and town.
We have Yowies* INVADING OUR PARKS.
Echidnas "stabbing" small children should they dare to enter the bush!
Drop-bears have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs.
Murder hornets!?! We’ve got SHITLOADS of murder hornets. Not to mention the nasty redbacks.
Head lice now fly… right beside the bats.
So stay where you are, in your own state or country where it's safe!
Seriously, PLEASE DO NOT COME HERE… ✋🏼 🤗
and we also have NO TOILET PAPER!!
*A Yowie is the Australian equivalent of the Yeti or Sasquatch.